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Channel: Loveawake.com blog

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Men adore women. We love the way you always smell so great. The way you flirt with your mouth. And even the way you let one of your shoes drop when you cross your legs. Unfortunately, there are so many things guys don’t get about women. Sometimes I’m not sure if you even get yourselves. […]

The post 7 Things Guys Don’t Get About Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Men adore women. We love the way you always smell so great. The way you flirt with your mouth. And even the way you let one of your shoes drop when you cross your legs.

Unfortunately, there are so many things guys don’t get about women. Sometimes I’m not sure if you even get yourselves. Why do you do the things you do sometimes?

I want to help you get a clearer image of what I’m referring to when it comes to the things that guys don’t get about women.

Things guys don’t get about women #1

The drama

Why is it that everyone who works with you is trying to destroy you? Why is it that every woman you encounter throughout the day is “cursing” you? Do you seriously believe this?

Essentially, men want to know why you are so dramatic about everything. If you break a heel at work, you’ll tell me that Laura is Human Resources must have hexed you because of the way she spoke to you that day.

To be honest with you, you’re wrong. The people you work with are so engrossed in their own thing that they don’t have time to voodoo you. Let it go. Ease up. Chill out.

Things guys don’t get about women #2

Getting married tomorrow

A friend of mine mentioned the other day that women aren’t getting married as young as they used to. And maybe he’s right. But the second you women get into a relationship, you start staring at your watches, tapping your foot, and waiting for the ring.

Why is marriage the be all end all of relationships? Why can’t you just be happy that we’re together instead of constantly wanting to get to the final step of it all?

Enjoy the relationship and when he’s ready, your guy will ask you to be his wife. Pressure is nobody’s friend.

Things guys don’t get about women #3

The freakin’ shoes

I once dated a girl who owned 180 pairs of shoes, most of which she had only worn once. The weird thing was that she knew exactly when she wore each pair and how much each pair cost. No one should know that much about their wardrobe.

Why? Why so many shoes? Will we ever get it? The shoe thing is something I think women just can’t explain themselves.

Things guys don’t get about women #4

Say one thing, mean another

He: “What’s wrong, babe?”
She: “Nothing.”
He: “Cool.”
She: mutters something under her breath and stomps away, then slams a door.

Why can’t women be clear about their intentions or feelings? Do you really think that men are psychic? We’re not. When you say you’re not mad, you’re fine, or that nothing’s wrong, we actually believe you. Stop it. If you’re upset, say so.

Things guys don’t get about women #5

Say you want the nice guy

“I want a guy who is sensitive, kind, funny, and sweet.” Shut up, you liar. You want the jerk off who will keep you guessing and give you multiple orgasms. Maybe you think you want the nice guy, but once you get your hands on him, you start checking out the edgy guys who don’t seem to care about you one way or the other.

Stop saying you want a nice guy, or that “sense of humor” tops your list of things you look for in a guy. That’s complete bullcrap. You want a guy who is:

1- Great looking
2- Is a challenge
3- Is great in bed
4- Makes good money

If he’s funny, great, but it’s not a prerequisite, no matter what you say. So stop lying.

Things guys don’t get about women #6

Hate other women

I really believe that women dress up for other women because the kind of detail you go into when you get ready (plucking the smallest eyebrow hair, separating your eyelashes) is obviously not for men. As long as we see a little tit, we’re good. Your eyebrows are the last thing on our minds.

Then you spend the evening looking at other women (which sometimes turns me on), criticizing every little thing you find wrong. Why? What’s your deal? Shouldn’t you be loving your sister and all that feminist jazz?

Oh and if I think a woman you think is ugly is hot, you will lose your freakin’ mind and you won’t let it go. Hey, I’m entitled to my opinion and if I think that fishnet stockings and stiletto heels are hot, let me be.

Things guys don’t get about women #7

Cryptic talk

She: “Why didn’t you rinse the dish in the sink?”
He: “I forgot, I’ll do it later.”
She: “But I told you 3 times already that you have to rinse the dishes when you put them in the sink.”
He: “Babe, I have other things on my mind, rinsing the dish slipped my mind.”
She: “You see? You really don’t care about me.”

What the f***? What is your deal, lady? How does forgetting to wash a dish translate into my not caring about you? My ex would always say, “You’re missing the point, it’s not about the dish, it’s about what’s behind the dish?” What’s behind the dish? The sink?

If you’re upset because you think I’m lazy or I don’t listen, say so, don’t start using menial, everyday things to point out that I’m insensitive, I just won’t get it. A dish is a dish is a dish, and you will never change that in my eyes.

Too many things guys don’t get about women

So have you heard enough of the things guys don’t get about women, or are there many more that I left out? Feel free to list them off in the comments below. And hey, no cursing. Or hexing.

 

The post 7 Things Guys Don’t Get About Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Men adore women. We love the way you always smell so great. The way you flirt with your mouth. And even the way you let one of your shoes drop when you cross your legs. Unfortunately, there are so many things guys don’t get about women. Sometimes I’m not sure if you even get yourselves. […]

The post 7 Things Guys Don’t Get About Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6319) "

Men adore women. We love the way you always smell so great. The way you flirt with your mouth. And even the way you let one of your shoes drop when you cross your legs.

Unfortunately, there are so many things guys don’t get about women. Sometimes I’m not sure if you even get yourselves. Why do you do the things you do sometimes?

I want to help you get a clearer image of what I’m referring to when it comes to the things that guys don’t get about women.

Things guys don’t get about women #1

The drama

Why is it that everyone who works with you is trying to destroy you? Why is it that every woman you encounter throughout the day is “cursing” you? Do you seriously believe this?

Essentially, men want to know why you are so dramatic about everything. If you break a heel at work, you’ll tell me that Laura is Human Resources must have hexed you because of the way she spoke to you that day.

To be honest with you, you’re wrong. The people you work with are so engrossed in their own thing that they don’t have time to voodoo you. Let it go. Ease up. Chill out.

Things guys don’t get about women #2

Getting married tomorrow

A friend of mine mentioned the other day that women aren’t getting married as young as they used to. And maybe he’s right. But the second you women get into a relationship, you start staring at your watches, tapping your foot, and waiting for the ring.

Why is marriage the be all end all of relationships? Why can’t you just be happy that we’re together instead of constantly wanting to get to the final step of it all?

Enjoy the relationship and when he’s ready, your guy will ask you to be his wife. Pressure is nobody’s friend.

Things guys don’t get about women #3

The freakin’ shoes

I once dated a girl who owned 180 pairs of shoes, most of which she had only worn once. The weird thing was that she knew exactly when she wore each pair and how much each pair cost. No one should know that much about their wardrobe.

Why? Why so many shoes? Will we ever get it? The shoe thing is something I think women just can’t explain themselves.

Things guys don’t get about women #4

Say one thing, mean another

He: “What’s wrong, babe?”
She: “Nothing.”
He: “Cool.”
She: mutters something under her breath and stomps away, then slams a door.

Why can’t women be clear about their intentions or feelings? Do you really think that men are psychic? We’re not. When you say you’re not mad, you’re fine, or that nothing’s wrong, we actually believe you. Stop it. If you’re upset, say so.

Things guys don’t get about women #5

Say you want the nice guy

“I want a guy who is sensitive, kind, funny, and sweet.” Shut up, you liar. You want the jerk off who will keep you guessing and give you multiple orgasms. Maybe you think you want the nice guy, but once you get your hands on him, you start checking out the edgy guys who don’t seem to care about you one way or the other.

Stop saying you want a nice guy, or that “sense of humor” tops your list of things you look for in a guy. That’s complete bullcrap. You want a guy who is:

1- Great looking
2- Is a challenge
3- Is great in bed
4- Makes good money

If he’s funny, great, but it’s not a prerequisite, no matter what you say. So stop lying.

Things guys don’t get about women #6

Hate other women

I really believe that women dress up for other women because the kind of detail you go into when you get ready (plucking the smallest eyebrow hair, separating your eyelashes) is obviously not for men. As long as we see a little tit, we’re good. Your eyebrows are the last thing on our minds.

Then you spend the evening looking at other women (which sometimes turns me on), criticizing every little thing you find wrong. Why? What’s your deal? Shouldn’t you be loving your sister and all that feminist jazz?

Oh and if I think a woman you think is ugly is hot, you will lose your freakin’ mind and you won’t let it go. Hey, I’m entitled to my opinion and if I think that fishnet stockings and stiletto heels are hot, let me be.

Things guys don’t get about women #7

Cryptic talk

She: “Why didn’t you rinse the dish in the sink?”
He: “I forgot, I’ll do it later.”
She: “But I told you 3 times already that you have to rinse the dishes when you put them in the sink.”
He: “Babe, I have other things on my mind, rinsing the dish slipped my mind.”
She: “You see? You really don’t care about me.”

What the f***? What is your deal, lady? How does forgetting to wash a dish translate into my not caring about you? My ex would always say, “You’re missing the point, it’s not about the dish, it’s about what’s behind the dish?” What’s behind the dish? The sink?

If you’re upset because you think I’m lazy or I don’t listen, say so, don’t start using menial, everyday things to point out that I’m insensitive, I just won’t get it. A dish is a dish is a dish, and you will never change that in my eyes.

Too many things guys don’t get about women

So have you heard enough of the things guys don’t get about women, or are there many more that I left out? Feel free to list them off in the comments below. And hey, no cursing. Or hexing.

 

The post 7 Things Guys Don’t Get About Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1547812198) } [1]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(39) "Breaking Up (on Facebook) Is Hard To Do" ["link"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/17/breaking-up-on-facebook-is-hard-to-do/" ["comments"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/17/breaking-up-on-facebook-is-hard-to-do/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 17 Jan 2019 17:25:22 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(105) "Dating IssuesInterestingadviceDating Etiquettefacebookinterestingrelationshipssocial mediasocial networks" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1386" ["description"]=> string(597) "

Breaking up is almost always awful. But if there’s one thing that’s worse than breaking up, it’s being forced to talk about it. In the dark ages, your parents and close friends were the only ones who felt comfortable pressing for details about an ugly split or crowing, “He wasn’t good enough for you anyway!” […]

The post Breaking Up (on Facebook) Is Hard To Do appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7779) "

Breaking up is almost always awful. But if there’s one thing that’s worse than breaking up, it’s being forced to talk about it. In the dark ages, your parents and close friends were the only ones who felt comfortable pressing for details about an ugly split or crowing, “He wasn’t good enough for you anyway!” But in the age of social media and oversharing, your heartache is now everybody’s news.

Facebook’s “relationship status change” is among the most awkward of social media status alerts, and it’s not difficult to see why. In the past, couples only sent out announcements for joyous occasions like engagements or births, and the expected response was “Congratulations!” But bad news is much harder to handle appropriately, and Facebook status updates provide a perplexingly small amount of information about breakups. Did she cheat? Was it a long time coming? Did it end in a huge fight or with a hug? That information affects how people react to the news of your breakup in real life, but on Facebook, you’re giving them news with no context. This can cause inquiries to come pouring in, and the recently-heartbroken usually feel one of two ways: either they want to talk about it, or they really, really don’t. Here’s how those in each camp can navigate Facebook in the days after the split:

If you want to talk about it…

If you don’t want to talk about it…

Feel like doing the Facebook equivalent of turning off your phone and hiding out with Ben & Jerry until you’re pretty sure no one remembers you were in a relationship in the first place? Here’s how:

The post Breaking Up (on Facebook) Is Hard To Do appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(81) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/17/breaking-up-on-facebook-is-hard-to-do/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(597) "

Breaking up is almost always awful. But if there’s one thing that’s worse than breaking up, it’s being forced to talk about it. In the dark ages, your parents and close friends were the only ones who felt comfortable pressing for details about an ugly split or crowing, “He wasn’t good enough for you anyway!” […]

The post Breaking Up (on Facebook) Is Hard To Do appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7779) "

Breaking up is almost always awful. But if there’s one thing that’s worse than breaking up, it’s being forced to talk about it. In the dark ages, your parents and close friends were the only ones who felt comfortable pressing for details about an ugly split or crowing, “He wasn’t good enough for you anyway!” But in the age of social media and oversharing, your heartache is now everybody’s news.

Facebook’s “relationship status change” is among the most awkward of social media status alerts, and it’s not difficult to see why. In the past, couples only sent out announcements for joyous occasions like engagements or births, and the expected response was “Congratulations!” But bad news is much harder to handle appropriately, and Facebook status updates provide a perplexingly small amount of information about breakups. Did she cheat? Was it a long time coming? Did it end in a huge fight or with a hug? That information affects how people react to the news of your breakup in real life, but on Facebook, you’re giving them news with no context. This can cause inquiries to come pouring in, and the recently-heartbroken usually feel one of two ways: either they want to talk about it, or they really, really don’t. Here’s how those in each camp can navigate Facebook in the days after the split:

If you want to talk about it…

If you don’t want to talk about it…

Feel like doing the Facebook equivalent of turning off your phone and hiding out with Ben & Jerry until you’re pretty sure no one remembers you were in a relationship in the first place? Here’s how:

The post Breaking Up (on Facebook) Is Hard To Do appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1547745922) } [2]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(58) "Hate Reading Your Ex’s Facebook Wall? Learn How to STOP." ["link"]=> string(92) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/16/hate-reading-your-exs-facebook-wall-learn-how-to-stop/" ["comments"]=> string(100) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/16/hate-reading-your-exs-facebook-wall-learn-how-to-stop/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 16 Jan 2019 16:04:59 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(60) "InterestingadviceExfacebookmenrelationshipssocial mediawomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1381" ["description"]=> string(621) "

There is no form of self-torture worse than looking at your ex’s wall. You wouldn’t pour salt on your own physical wound, yet you just can’t stop yourself from checking out what other women have posted on his wall. It is a strange sort of obsession: if you are miserable and lonely, you don’t want him […]

The post Hate Reading Your Ex’s Facebook Wall? Learn How to STOP. appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4149) "

There is no form of self-torture worse than looking at your ex’s wall. You wouldn’t pour salt on your own physical wound, yet you just can’t stop yourself from checking out what other women have posted on his wall. It is a strange sort of obsession: if you are miserable and lonely, you don’t want him to be happy, either. So you’re half-hoping that there’s no action on his wall. However, you also have a sick fascination with the comments he does receive from other women. You can judge these competitors as being not as “fine” as you are, or conversely think that they are better than you, which only supports some negative narrative or story you repeat in your mind to make yourself feel “less than.” It is a bit like rubbernecking at a party or club, where you can’t stop yourself from looking at someone “you can’t have” who’s dancing with someone whose place you wish you inhabited. You know that looking at them only makes you feel worse, so you try to distract yourself, but you’re aware that by trying so hard to do something else, you’re still completely orienting your life around their presence. So then you look at the object of your obsession again, in the hopes that he’s no longer hanging out with her, but when you see he is, you kick yourself.

Of course, you could just not go to any parties that he’s attending, but then you’d have no social life. Likewise, you’re not going to avoid the internet or even just Facebook, just because he’s online. But what are you going to do? De-friend him? If his privacy settings are set so that “friends of friends” or “everyone” can see his wall, then it doesn’t really help – you’ll still be able to see comments on his wall. You can change your News Feed filter so that you don’t see his status updates; at the very least, you’ll be reminded of him less frequently.

But really, it’s a matter of psychology, not technology. “Don’t visit his wall” is easier said than done. What you really need to do is some inner work on your feelings about the end of the relationship, and/or what your ex (emotionally) did for you. Maybe you’re still longing for him, and you haven’t let him go. While you’re grieving the relationship, you’re looking at his wall to still feel connected to him.

How to Avoid Looking at His Wall

Ultimately, self-will is all you have at your disposal. You can probably ad some website-blocking Firefox extension, but you can just as easily disable it. Instead, think of your obsession with your ex as an addiction. The first thing you do when you go to Alcoholics Anonymous is find a sponsor, so find a “buddy” to whom you can be accountable – maybe a close girlfriend who’s often accessible on Facebook chat and via texting. Every time you feel tempted to look at your ex’s wall, message her so that she can talk you out of it. Work with her on developing a list of “things to do other than read his wall”: learn how to stitch, take stupid quizzes, flirt with new guys. Sometimes what you do is less important than the fact that you’ve got someone actively supporting you in getting over your ex.

And if you do look at his wall, don’t beat yourself up. If it appears that he’s moved on and is making new connections with women, then maybe the relationship lasted as long as it needed to. In the same way that Facebook has surpassed MySpace, it’s just a matter of time before you move on to better things.

The post Hate Reading Your Ex’s Facebook Wall? Learn How to STOP. appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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There is no form of self-torture worse than looking at your ex’s wall. You wouldn’t pour salt on your own physical wound, yet you just can’t stop yourself from checking out what other women have posted on his wall. It is a strange sort of obsession: if you are miserable and lonely, you don’t want him […]

The post Hate Reading Your Ex’s Facebook Wall? Learn How to STOP. appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4149) "

There is no form of self-torture worse than looking at your ex’s wall. You wouldn’t pour salt on your own physical wound, yet you just can’t stop yourself from checking out what other women have posted on his wall. It is a strange sort of obsession: if you are miserable and lonely, you don’t want him to be happy, either. So you’re half-hoping that there’s no action on his wall. However, you also have a sick fascination with the comments he does receive from other women. You can judge these competitors as being not as “fine” as you are, or conversely think that they are better than you, which only supports some negative narrative or story you repeat in your mind to make yourself feel “less than.” It is a bit like rubbernecking at a party or club, where you can’t stop yourself from looking at someone “you can’t have” who’s dancing with someone whose place you wish you inhabited. You know that looking at them only makes you feel worse, so you try to distract yourself, but you’re aware that by trying so hard to do something else, you’re still completely orienting your life around their presence. So then you look at the object of your obsession again, in the hopes that he’s no longer hanging out with her, but when you see he is, you kick yourself.

Of course, you could just not go to any parties that he’s attending, but then you’d have no social life. Likewise, you’re not going to avoid the internet or even just Facebook, just because he’s online. But what are you going to do? De-friend him? If his privacy settings are set so that “friends of friends” or “everyone” can see his wall, then it doesn’t really help – you’ll still be able to see comments on his wall. You can change your News Feed filter so that you don’t see his status updates; at the very least, you’ll be reminded of him less frequently.

But really, it’s a matter of psychology, not technology. “Don’t visit his wall” is easier said than done. What you really need to do is some inner work on your feelings about the end of the relationship, and/or what your ex (emotionally) did for you. Maybe you’re still longing for him, and you haven’t let him go. While you’re grieving the relationship, you’re looking at his wall to still feel connected to him.

How to Avoid Looking at His Wall

Ultimately, self-will is all you have at your disposal. You can probably ad some website-blocking Firefox extension, but you can just as easily disable it. Instead, think of your obsession with your ex as an addiction. The first thing you do when you go to Alcoholics Anonymous is find a sponsor, so find a “buddy” to whom you can be accountable – maybe a close girlfriend who’s often accessible on Facebook chat and via texting. Every time you feel tempted to look at your ex’s wall, message her so that she can talk you out of it. Work with her on developing a list of “things to do other than read his wall”: learn how to stitch, take stupid quizzes, flirt with new guys. Sometimes what you do is less important than the fact that you’ve got someone actively supporting you in getting over your ex.

And if you do look at his wall, don’t beat yourself up. If it appears that he’s moved on and is making new connections with women, then maybe the relationship lasted as long as it needed to. In the same way that Facebook has surpassed MySpace, it’s just a matter of time before you move on to better things.

The post Hate Reading Your Ex’s Facebook Wall? Learn How to STOP. appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1547654699) } [3]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(66) "7 Resolutions That’ll Make You More Successful at Dating in 2019" ["link"]=> string(102) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/14/7-resolutions-thatll-make-you-more-successful-at-dating-in-2019/" ["comments"]=> string(110) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/14/7-resolutions-thatll-make-you-more-successful-at-dating-in-2019/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 14 Jan 2019 15:20:32 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(51) "Interesting2019advicedatingrelationshipsResolutions" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1377" ["description"]=> string(758) "

What resolutions did you make this year? The usual Eat-healthier-quit smoking-get-my-ass-to-the-gym-and-stop-passing-out-drunk-on-my-friends-floor type stuff? Those are all noble resolutions. And they’ll make you a better, healthier man. But will they help lead to your ultimate goal: Being more successful with women? And I don’t just mean “successful” as in going out and conquering entire harems of […]

The post 7 Resolutions That’ll Make You More Successful at Dating in 2019 appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(8836) "

What resolutions did you make this year? The usual Eat-healthier-quit smoking-get-my-ass-to-the-gym-and-stop-passing-out-drunk-on-my-friends-floor type stuff?

Those are all noble resolutions. And they’ll make you a better, healthier man. But will they help lead to your ultimate goal: Being more successful with women?

And I don’t just mean “successful” as in going out and conquering entire harems of women. (Unless that’s your goal, then that’s exactly what I mean.) I’m also talking about being even more successful with the women you’re with right now. For that, you’re going to need to make more specific resolutions. So here are the 7 that will keep the phone numbers flowing, the women calling, and your weekends packed.

#1: Resolve to Get Over Your Anxiety of Talking to Beautiful Women.

Don’t try to hide it. We all have it. That nagging fear deep down when we are faced with a beautiful woman. And it doesn’t matter if she’s in a bar and we want to meet her, or she’s a salesperson and we need to see those black wingtips in a size 10. We get anxious and nervous and usually end up saying something stupid or sounding like an insecure idiot. Time to stop that. And it’s a lot easier than you think.

Carlos Xuma, a dating coach has one of the best cures I’ve found for beating Beautiful Woman Anxiety. He calls it his “Hit and Run 50.” All you do is walk up and say something complimentary to 50 random women. Women that you have no desire to date. Why? Because the idea is to get used to walking up to a female, saying something that makes her day and makes her smile, then walking away. Without it becoming a full-on conversation, or having to lead to something. (More on that in Resolution #2.) By the time you’re halfway through your 50, you’ll find yourself becoming more and more confident approaching women, and more comfortable when talking to them. And believe me, they’ll notice.

#2: Resolve to Stop Thinking Every Interaction With a Woman Has to Lead to Sex.

Here’s why a lot of us get so nervous talking to women: Because in our minds, every time we talk to a beautiful woman, we feel the need to have it lead to a date, or an invite to tangle the sheets. Otherwise we’ve failed. And we’re not the ladies man we thought we were. Well that’s complete B.S. and it’s time to resolve to get over that.

Most attractive women get hit on, or approached by men, dozens of times per day. That causes their defenses to go up. I call it the Panhandler Syndrome. Even if you are the type willing to give spare change to a panhandler, if you got approached by 15-20 of them every day, you’d do anything to avoid them, no matter how sympathetic you are. Same with women.

The second she thinks that you want this interaction to lead to something, her shields will slam down. And she’ll know by your nervousness, over-eagerness, and any other behavior or body language that is anything but completely at ease and relaxed. And the best way to have that happen is to stop thinking that this conversation has to end with her leaving your place the next morning with her peep-toe pumps in her hand and her bra in her purse. And just like the Hit and Run 50 above, the more you adopt this mindset, the more comfortable you’ll become.

#3: Resolve to Stop Dating Anything That’s Willing.

Just because she’s willing, that doesn’t mean you should be. And don’t hit me with those old cliches about “chicks with low self esteem try harder,” and “crazy pussy is the best pussy.” I can tell you I’ve had my share of crazy, and all it ever got me was drama and headaches. And a lot of annoyed neighbors.

Am I going to tell you that if you settle just because she’s the first girl in a while who said yes, that you’re shortchanging yourself? Yes I am. And it all has to do with realizing your value.

We’ve all met the women with low self esteem. We can spot them in a second in a bar. They’re the ones dressed a little too slutty, with too much makeup, who try just a little too hard to get you to like them. And do we have a lot of respect for these women? Do we highly value them? No. And it’s the same when the roles are reversed. When we try too hard, and are willing to “bow down” to a beautiful woman, or say yes to a less than desirable woman because she’s simply willing, we lose value in their eyes. And the eyes of all the other women watching. And that’ll hurt you in the long run.

You can start by writing down all the characteristics you’re looking for in the ideal woman you want to date. Education level. Personality. Hobbies you want to share… all of it. Then make a list of your deal breakers. “Bitter.” “Jaded.” “Drama Queen.” “Boils Bunnies.” And stick to the women who fit the first list, while jettisoning the women who show deal breaker qualities… No matter what she looks like, or suggests you do to her in the ladies room. Trust me, your life will be a lot easier.

#4: Resolve to Update Your Wardrobe.

Look down. Do your pants have pleats? If so, toss them. If they have pleats and they’re also jeans, burn them. If they’re jorts, you need more help than I can provide in this post.

I’m not saying you need to be a slave to fashion. Pick up a few quality pieces for your wardrobe. Then add to it every so often. Accessories too. A nice watch. A pair of unusual cufflinks. Women notice a guy who knows how to dress himself. And dress himself well.

#5: Resolve to Get Your Bachelor Pad in Order.

Look around. If anything in your place would look perfectly fine in a dorm room, it doesn’t belong in an adult bachelor pad. What’s hanging on your walls? If your answer is “nothing at all,” that’s almost worse than “A Jenna Jameson poster.” Get some decent artwork on the walls. Lose the tweed couch with the stains you found on bulk pickup day. And treat your place as if you expect a woman to drop by at any time. Keep it clean. And smelling fresh. Make sure the bathroom is stocked. And you’ve got extra pillows in the bedroom.

#6: Resolve to Learn to Cook.

I’m not saying you need to be a gourmet chef, but you should definitely have a dish or two in your back pocket that you’ve mastered. And I’m not talking about your slow-cooked bone-sucking ribs or suicidal hot wings. Grab a few food magazines and pick out a couple of female-friendly dishes. (That means no high garlic or onion content, no using your hands to eat it, and nothing high in carbs or fat.)

Then practice making it, until you can do it to perfection while talking to a hot women who happens to be sipping wine in your kitchen. Because “Let me make you my famous Oak Grilled Salmon with Lemon and Dill,” beats the hell out of “So where do you want to go for dinner?”

And when you’re looking for those dishes to get down cold, make sure one of them is perfect for breakfast. So instead of throwing her some coffee and a stale bagel, you can persuade her to stay just a while longer for some Mango-Agave Granola with Greek Yogurt and fresh grapefruit with mint and honey. (Those are actual recipes from Bobby Flay in the Jan/Feb issue of Food TV Magazine.)

#7: Resolve to Be Unique.

The minute she puts you in the “Just Like Every Other Guy” category, you’re dead. Because if every other guy was what she wanted, she’d be with them. So be unique. Be entertaining. Women love to be around a guy who can keep their interest and make them laugh. So learn how to tell an interesting story. (With compelling characters and an actual point.) Stop giving the typical, expected answers in a conversation. Take up an unusual hobby. Become expert in something obscure. Anything that keeps her from thinking you’re just like everyone else.

 

The post 7 Resolutions That’ll Make You More Successful at Dating in 2019 appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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What resolutions did you make this year? The usual Eat-healthier-quit smoking-get-my-ass-to-the-gym-and-stop-passing-out-drunk-on-my-friends-floor type stuff? Those are all noble resolutions. And they’ll make you a better, healthier man. But will they help lead to your ultimate goal: Being more successful with women? And I don’t just mean “successful” as in going out and conquering entire harems of […]

The post 7 Resolutions That’ll Make You More Successful at Dating in 2019 appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(8836) "

What resolutions did you make this year? The usual Eat-healthier-quit smoking-get-my-ass-to-the-gym-and-stop-passing-out-drunk-on-my-friends-floor type stuff?

Those are all noble resolutions. And they’ll make you a better, healthier man. But will they help lead to your ultimate goal: Being more successful with women?

And I don’t just mean “successful” as in going out and conquering entire harems of women. (Unless that’s your goal, then that’s exactly what I mean.) I’m also talking about being even more successful with the women you’re with right now. For that, you’re going to need to make more specific resolutions. So here are the 7 that will keep the phone numbers flowing, the women calling, and your weekends packed.

#1: Resolve to Get Over Your Anxiety of Talking to Beautiful Women.

Don’t try to hide it. We all have it. That nagging fear deep down when we are faced with a beautiful woman. And it doesn’t matter if she’s in a bar and we want to meet her, or she’s a salesperson and we need to see those black wingtips in a size 10. We get anxious and nervous and usually end up saying something stupid or sounding like an insecure idiot. Time to stop that. And it’s a lot easier than you think.

Carlos Xuma, a dating coach has one of the best cures I’ve found for beating Beautiful Woman Anxiety. He calls it his “Hit and Run 50.” All you do is walk up and say something complimentary to 50 random women. Women that you have no desire to date. Why? Because the idea is to get used to walking up to a female, saying something that makes her day and makes her smile, then walking away. Without it becoming a full-on conversation, or having to lead to something. (More on that in Resolution #2.) By the time you’re halfway through your 50, you’ll find yourself becoming more and more confident approaching women, and more comfortable when talking to them. And believe me, they’ll notice.

#2: Resolve to Stop Thinking Every Interaction With a Woman Has to Lead to Sex.

Here’s why a lot of us get so nervous talking to women: Because in our minds, every time we talk to a beautiful woman, we feel the need to have it lead to a date, or an invite to tangle the sheets. Otherwise we’ve failed. And we’re not the ladies man we thought we were. Well that’s complete B.S. and it’s time to resolve to get over that.

Most attractive women get hit on, or approached by men, dozens of times per day. That causes their defenses to go up. I call it the Panhandler Syndrome. Even if you are the type willing to give spare change to a panhandler, if you got approached by 15-20 of them every day, you’d do anything to avoid them, no matter how sympathetic you are. Same with women.

The second she thinks that you want this interaction to lead to something, her shields will slam down. And she’ll know by your nervousness, over-eagerness, and any other behavior or body language that is anything but completely at ease and relaxed. And the best way to have that happen is to stop thinking that this conversation has to end with her leaving your place the next morning with her peep-toe pumps in her hand and her bra in her purse. And just like the Hit and Run 50 above, the more you adopt this mindset, the more comfortable you’ll become.

#3: Resolve to Stop Dating Anything That’s Willing.

Just because she’s willing, that doesn’t mean you should be. And don’t hit me with those old cliches about “chicks with low self esteem try harder,” and “crazy pussy is the best pussy.” I can tell you I’ve had my share of crazy, and all it ever got me was drama and headaches. And a lot of annoyed neighbors.

Am I going to tell you that if you settle just because she’s the first girl in a while who said yes, that you’re shortchanging yourself? Yes I am. And it all has to do with realizing your value.

We’ve all met the women with low self esteem. We can spot them in a second in a bar. They’re the ones dressed a little too slutty, with too much makeup, who try just a little too hard to get you to like them. And do we have a lot of respect for these women? Do we highly value them? No. And it’s the same when the roles are reversed. When we try too hard, and are willing to “bow down” to a beautiful woman, or say yes to a less than desirable woman because she’s simply willing, we lose value in their eyes. And the eyes of all the other women watching. And that’ll hurt you in the long run.

You can start by writing down all the characteristics you’re looking for in the ideal woman you want to date. Education level. Personality. Hobbies you want to share… all of it. Then make a list of your deal breakers. “Bitter.” “Jaded.” “Drama Queen.” “Boils Bunnies.” And stick to the women who fit the first list, while jettisoning the women who show deal breaker qualities… No matter what she looks like, or suggests you do to her in the ladies room. Trust me, your life will be a lot easier.

#4: Resolve to Update Your Wardrobe.

Look down. Do your pants have pleats? If so, toss them. If they have pleats and they’re also jeans, burn them. If they’re jorts, you need more help than I can provide in this post.

I’m not saying you need to be a slave to fashion. Pick up a few quality pieces for your wardrobe. Then add to it every so often. Accessories too. A nice watch. A pair of unusual cufflinks. Women notice a guy who knows how to dress himself. And dress himself well.

#5: Resolve to Get Your Bachelor Pad in Order.

Look around. If anything in your place would look perfectly fine in a dorm room, it doesn’t belong in an adult bachelor pad. What’s hanging on your walls? If your answer is “nothing at all,” that’s almost worse than “A Jenna Jameson poster.” Get some decent artwork on the walls. Lose the tweed couch with the stains you found on bulk pickup day. And treat your place as if you expect a woman to drop by at any time. Keep it clean. And smelling fresh. Make sure the bathroom is stocked. And you’ve got extra pillows in the bedroom.

#6: Resolve to Learn to Cook.

I’m not saying you need to be a gourmet chef, but you should definitely have a dish or two in your back pocket that you’ve mastered. And I’m not talking about your slow-cooked bone-sucking ribs or suicidal hot wings. Grab a few food magazines and pick out a couple of female-friendly dishes. (That means no high garlic or onion content, no using your hands to eat it, and nothing high in carbs or fat.)

Then practice making it, until you can do it to perfection while talking to a hot women who happens to be sipping wine in your kitchen. Because “Let me make you my famous Oak Grilled Salmon with Lemon and Dill,” beats the hell out of “So where do you want to go for dinner?”

And when you’re looking for those dishes to get down cold, make sure one of them is perfect for breakfast. So instead of throwing her some coffee and a stale bagel, you can persuade her to stay just a while longer for some Mango-Agave Granola with Greek Yogurt and fresh grapefruit with mint and honey. (Those are actual recipes from Bobby Flay in the Jan/Feb issue of Food TV Magazine.)

#7: Resolve to Be Unique.

The minute she puts you in the “Just Like Every Other Guy” category, you’re dead. Because if every other guy was what she wanted, she’d be with them. So be unique. Be entertaining. Women love to be around a guy who can keep their interest and make them laugh. So learn how to tell an interesting story. (With compelling characters and an actual point.) Stop giving the typical, expected answers in a conversation. Take up an unusual hobby. Become expert in something obscure. Anything that keeps her from thinking you’re just like everyone else.

 

The post 7 Resolutions That’ll Make You More Successful at Dating in 2019 appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1547479232) } [4]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(33) "How to Respond to a Breakup Email" ["link"]=> string(72) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/11/how-to-respond-to-a-breakup-email/" ["comments"]=> string(81) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/11/how-to-respond-to-a-breakup-email/#comments" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 11 Jan 2019 13:58:38 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(82) "Dating Adviceadvicebreak upbreakupsdumpdumpingemailhow tomessagerelationshipsreply" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1372" ["description"]=> string(609) "

There are good ways to get dumped, and there are bad ways to get dumped. Generally, getting dumped via e-mail falls somewhere between Face to face when I knew it was coming and text message from his new girlfriend. It’s not a good feeling when “You’ve got mail” becomes “You’ve been dumped,” but you can make the best of it. […]

The post How to Respond to a Breakup Email appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5791) "

There are good ways to get dumped, and there are bad ways to get dumped. Generally, getting dumped via e-mail falls somewhere between Face to face when I knew it was coming and text message from his new girlfriend. It’s not a good feeling when “You’ve got mail” becomes “You’ve been dumped,” but you can make the best of it.

Here are some ways to make the most of your reply:

As annoying as it is to get dumped by e-mail, try to remember you’ve been given a gift. Not only are you free of a man who thinks it’s appropriate to breakup via e-mail, but you also have a chance to think about your response. You can cut and paste. You can choose your words carefully. And you can hide your pain. You may be sobbing whilst double-fisting whipped cream and tequila, blasting “I Will Survive” as you prepare to hit “Send,” but he doesn’t have to know that.

The post How to Respond to a Breakup Email appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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There are good ways to get dumped, and there are bad ways to get dumped. Generally, getting dumped via e-mail falls somewhere between Face to face when I knew it was coming and text message from his new girlfriend. It’s not a good feeling when “You’ve got mail” becomes “You’ve been dumped,” but you can make the best of it. […]

The post How to Respond to a Breakup Email appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5791) "

There are good ways to get dumped, and there are bad ways to get dumped. Generally, getting dumped via e-mail falls somewhere between Face to face when I knew it was coming and text message from his new girlfriend. It’s not a good feeling when “You’ve got mail” becomes “You’ve been dumped,” but you can make the best of it.

Here are some ways to make the most of your reply:

As annoying as it is to get dumped by e-mail, try to remember you’ve been given a gift. Not only are you free of a man who thinks it’s appropriate to breakup via e-mail, but you also have a chance to think about your response. You can cut and paste. You can choose your words carefully. And you can hide your pain. You may be sobbing whilst double-fisting whipped cream and tequila, blasting “I Will Survive” as you prepare to hit “Send,” but he doesn’t have to know that.

The post How to Respond to a Breakup Email appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1547215118) } [5]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(61) "Bad Reputation: Doing Damage Control on Your Internet Profile" ["link"]=> string(99) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/10/bad-reputation-doing-damage-control-on-your-internet-profile/" ["comments"]=> string(107) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/10/bad-reputation-doing-damage-control-on-your-internet-profile/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 10 Jan 2019 13:44:28 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(58) "Interestingadvicegoogleinterestingreputationsafetysecurity" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1367" ["description"]=> string(640) "

In a previous post, we talked about how to figure out what the internet says about you. If you’ve googled yourself, it’s possible that you’ve found at least one or two things that surprise you. An unflattering picture, a bunch of petty comments about someone who gets your goat on an internet forum, or (worse) a […]

The post Bad Reputation: Doing Damage Control on Your Internet Profile appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5945) "

In a previous post, we talked about how to figure out what the internet says about you. If you’ve googled yourself, it’s possible that you’ve found at least one or two things that surprise you. An unflattering picture, a bunch of petty comments about someone who gets your goat on an internet forum, or (worse) a pile of information that just paints an inaccurate picture of who you really are.

If you find that you’re not pleased with how the internet reflects you, there are two basic approaches to fixing it: removing stuff, and patching up blank spots. You do what you can to control unflattering information, while adding in things that represent you more accurately. If you’re an absolute baseball fanatic, or you like to bake, that’s the sort of information you can add to your online profiles without much effort. But first things first: how do you delete incriminating info from your “internet record”?

Getting rid of stuff you don’t like can be an exercise in frustration, but it’s often worth the effort. If you’re the one who’s accidentally misrepresenting you, it’s easy (but time consuming) to fix. If your tweets tend toward the dramatic or highly personal, consider protecting them and only allowing people you know in real life to read them. Ditto your LiveJournal, your Facebook, and anywhere else you post things that others need real life context about you to understand.

If the content you don’t like is hosted by someone else, the easiest option is to ask them very nicely if they could please take it down. (You have to talk to the webmaster of the site where the info is located, not Google. Google does not control the info about you, and contacting them won’t do you much good). You can cite privacy concerns or just let them know that you’re uncomfortable with it. If you’re on good terms with the person, or if they’re an amicable stranger, there’s a good chance they had no idea you didn’t like the content and they’ll rush to remove it. I have politely asked people to remove pictures of me from Flickr, and have untagged myself on Facebook more than once. (Addwekk has tons of information about how to manage your picture tagging).

Sometimes, however, the hard truth is that content you don’t like is on the internet to stay. Maybe you had a brush with the law, and your conviction is a matter of public record, or your nasty ex posted the vicious e-mails you sent him on his blog (while failing to mention that he cheated on you). In certain cases, it’s possible that you could pursue legal action, but that’s outside the scope of this article, so let’s just assume for the moment that the nasty info stays. In this case, what do you do?

Your best bet is to make sure that there’s lots of good information about you on the internet. This will help anyone who googles you to get a more comprehensive picture of your personality, and it makes the negative stuff both harder to find and less damaging. (If you only have three search results for your name, and two of them make you look like a psycho, that’s bad. If there are fifty results, those two instances seem like bad days, not a comprehensive picture of who you are.) If you don’t have a personal website, consider making one. There are a couple of tactics that will help you “own” the top search results for your name. Mashable has a great article that outlines specific methods for controlling your Google search results.

Essentially, it’s a lot of work, but it is possible fill the internet with information about you that you actually want people to see. If you have a huge internet PR problem, it’s also possible to pay people to make it better, but the prices of “Reputation Repair” packages range from hundreds to thousands, so make sure the reputation damage is actually worth throwing money at before you sign up.

Two final notes:

  1. It’s not a bad idea to consider the possibility that if it has ever been on the internet, it is still on the internet You may remove something unflattering, and it might crop up again later (someone has copied it, or a link that was inactive becomes visible again, etc.). As hard as it can be to get your head around, it’s a good idea to be prepared to explain your most unflattering moments to your new romantic prospects.
  2. Google only crawls most sites every 30 days, and updates the search listings according to what it finds. This means that even if you make major changes to your web presence, they may take a few weeks to start showing up in search results. If you decide to make your online dating profiles private or request that they stop appearing in Google search, the site can take action immediately but that doesn’t mean this will be reflected in your Google search results right away.

The bottom line is that it can take some time and effort, but you can influence your search results if you’re not crazy about what a quick Google search says about you. Good luck, and happy Googling!

 

The post Bad Reputation: Doing Damage Control on Your Internet Profile appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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In a previous post, we talked about how to figure out what the internet says about you. If you’ve googled yourself, it’s possible that you’ve found at least one or two things that surprise you. An unflattering picture, a bunch of petty comments about someone who gets your goat on an internet forum, or (worse) a […]

The post Bad Reputation: Doing Damage Control on Your Internet Profile appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5945) "

In a previous post, we talked about how to figure out what the internet says about you. If you’ve googled yourself, it’s possible that you’ve found at least one or two things that surprise you. An unflattering picture, a bunch of petty comments about someone who gets your goat on an internet forum, or (worse) a pile of information that just paints an inaccurate picture of who you really are.

If you find that you’re not pleased with how the internet reflects you, there are two basic approaches to fixing it: removing stuff, and patching up blank spots. You do what you can to control unflattering information, while adding in things that represent you more accurately. If you’re an absolute baseball fanatic, or you like to bake, that’s the sort of information you can add to your online profiles without much effort. But first things first: how do you delete incriminating info from your “internet record”?

Getting rid of stuff you don’t like can be an exercise in frustration, but it’s often worth the effort. If you’re the one who’s accidentally misrepresenting you, it’s easy (but time consuming) to fix. If your tweets tend toward the dramatic or highly personal, consider protecting them and only allowing people you know in real life to read them. Ditto your LiveJournal, your Facebook, and anywhere else you post things that others need real life context about you to understand.

If the content you don’t like is hosted by someone else, the easiest option is to ask them very nicely if they could please take it down. (You have to talk to the webmaster of the site where the info is located, not Google. Google does not control the info about you, and contacting them won’t do you much good). You can cite privacy concerns or just let them know that you’re uncomfortable with it. If you’re on good terms with the person, or if they’re an amicable stranger, there’s a good chance they had no idea you didn’t like the content and they’ll rush to remove it. I have politely asked people to remove pictures of me from Flickr, and have untagged myself on Facebook more than once. (Addwekk has tons of information about how to manage your picture tagging).

Sometimes, however, the hard truth is that content you don’t like is on the internet to stay. Maybe you had a brush with the law, and your conviction is a matter of public record, or your nasty ex posted the vicious e-mails you sent him on his blog (while failing to mention that he cheated on you). In certain cases, it’s possible that you could pursue legal action, but that’s outside the scope of this article, so let’s just assume for the moment that the nasty info stays. In this case, what do you do?

Your best bet is to make sure that there’s lots of good information about you on the internet. This will help anyone who googles you to get a more comprehensive picture of your personality, and it makes the negative stuff both harder to find and less damaging. (If you only have three search results for your name, and two of them make you look like a psycho, that’s bad. If there are fifty results, those two instances seem like bad days, not a comprehensive picture of who you are.) If you don’t have a personal website, consider making one. There are a couple of tactics that will help you “own” the top search results for your name. Mashable has a great article that outlines specific methods for controlling your Google search results.

Essentially, it’s a lot of work, but it is possible fill the internet with information about you that you actually want people to see. If you have a huge internet PR problem, it’s also possible to pay people to make it better, but the prices of “Reputation Repair” packages range from hundreds to thousands, so make sure the reputation damage is actually worth throwing money at before you sign up.

Two final notes:

  1. It’s not a bad idea to consider the possibility that if it has ever been on the internet, it is still on the internet You may remove something unflattering, and it might crop up again later (someone has copied it, or a link that was inactive becomes visible again, etc.). As hard as it can be to get your head around, it’s a good idea to be prepared to explain your most unflattering moments to your new romantic prospects.
  2. Google only crawls most sites every 30 days, and updates the search listings according to what it finds. This means that even if you make major changes to your web presence, they may take a few weeks to start showing up in search results. If you decide to make your online dating profiles private or request that they stop appearing in Google search, the site can take action immediately but that doesn’t mean this will be reflected in your Google search results right away.

The bottom line is that it can take some time and effort, but you can influence your search results if you’re not crazy about what a quick Google search says about you. Good luck, and happy Googling!

 

The post Bad Reputation: Doing Damage Control on Your Internet Profile appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1547127868) } [6]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(39) "What Does Google Tell People About You?" ["link"]=> string(77) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/10/what-does-google-tell-people-about-you/" ["comments"]=> string(86) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/10/what-does-google-tell-people-about-you/#comments" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 10 Jan 2019 11:59:00 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(63) "Interestingadvicegoogleimageinterestinglifeprivicyreversesearch" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1362" ["description"]=> string(636) "

Ten years ago, if you’d asked someone whether or not they’d be comfortable with a blind date knowing everything about them before they met, you’d get an answer somewhere between “Ew, that’s creepy” and “That’s just not romantic.” Today, we almost expect our internet crushes to know intimate details about us, even if we’ve never met. No […]

The post What Does Google Tell People About You? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7815) "

Ten years ago, if you’d asked someone whether or not they’d be comfortable with a blind date knowing everything about them before they met, you’d get an answer somewhere between “Ew, that’s creepy” and “That’s just not romantic.”

Today, we almost expect our internet crushes to know intimate details about us, even if we’ve never met. No one thinks twice about telling the internet what they had for breakfast, why their roommates annoy them, or how much that guy in O-Chem makes them think of other, more interesting O’s. It’s easy to overshare on the internet, because there’s always someone sharing way more than you are, and because the stream of information seems so ephemeral and ever-changing.

But if you’re looking for love, especially online, it’s important to know what picture your online profiles paint of you. Why? Because if someone is interested in you, they’re probably going to google you. And if they’re really interested, they might dig a bit deeper than that. You might be pretty sure that you don’t have anything particularly incriminating up on the internet, but, just like your credit report, it’s worth checking out to be sure.

It’s also a PR game. We are making far more information about ourselves available to the public than ever before, and we don’t have high-powered publicists to advise us on how to behave, when to shut up, and how to manage our reputations and public image. Consequently, the information available about you on the internet can be very misleading, and this can happen without you even knowing it. A few years ago, I was horrified to discover that a dear friend had posted an unattractive picture of me in his (well-followed) blog. He thought it was a “quirky” pic that showed my personality, but I hated it… and it was the first result being returned when you did a Google image search for my name!

Do you know what sort of portrait the internet paints of you? If you don’t, here’s how to piece it together:

Google thyself

“Know thyself” is still the best advice for dating, but “Google thyself” is the first commandment of knowing how you appear to others. Google uses an intelligent page-ranking system to organize your information (and, no, you can’t e-mail them and ask them to please take down that keg stand picture from your fraternity days).

Google your own first and last name, surrounded by quotations, and add your location if your name is common (my search phrase looks like this: “Meghan Beresford” New York). You should also do a Google Image Search (in the tabs at the top) and scan the pictures to see if there’s anything surprising or unflattering toward the top of the results.

Next, google your online handles. If you’re on an online dating site, your prospects may google your username, especially if you haven’t given them your last name yet. If your online dating username is also your Yelp! handle, your Twitter login, your blog’s name, and the username you use on other dating sites, your date can easily access tons of information about you. (This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s worth your while to know what they know!)

Finally, google any e-mail addresses you use for site logins, Craigslist ads, or other postings. This search is the least likely to return results, but it’s still worth checking out. It’s basic internet safety to keep track of what personal information is publicly accessible.

Piece together the “facts”

Try to imagine how you’d view yourself if you had only the internet facts to rely on. Do you seem normal and well-rounded, or does one aspect of your personality outshine the others? Is there any information that’s likely to be misinterpreted by someone who doesn’t know you? Is there anything that shows up publicly that surprises you or makes you uncomfortable? (When you scan your search results, make a note of anything you’d like to remove from your public profile. This will help you later, if you choose to take a more active approach to managing what data appears about you online.)

If you share strong opinions in public forums, it’s possible that your posts will show up in your Google results. This is worth knowing, because if 90% of what you’ve shared on the internet is political or religious, your date may see you as much more intense (or worse, one-note) than you actually are. Similarly, there’s nothing wrong with being a member of many dating sites, but if your date can see this info when they google you, they may conclude you’re serious about finding someone (whether or not this is true!).

Read your own Facebook and Twitter status update streams to get a sense for what tone the conversations take. If you tweet or post updates about only your craziest adventures, your crush is going to think you’re a wild child. Conversely, if they can see that you’ve Netflixed movies the last four Friday nights, and if the rest of your tweets are about trips to the bank and what kind of oatmeal you eat, they might get the sense that you’re boring.

People have different sharing habits, especially when it comes to social media, but how you share your thoughts is worth thinking about. If you only tweet when you have something to rant about, your Twitter stream is going to make you seem like a hothead, even if you’re generally even-tempered in real life.

Keep an eye peeled for personal details

Let’s say you recently sold a couch on Craigslist and included your e-mail address, phone number and what street you live on. Until the listing is deleted or expires, anyone who has your e-mail address can get your phone number or figure out roughly where you live! Posting this much info on Craigslist isn’t a bright idea, but I still see it all the time. If you must post personal contact information publicly on the net, consider making an alternate, anonymous e-mail address that you don’t use for any personal communications. If you use your real contact information, make sure you know where it’s posted, and who can see it.

Check your privacy settings on all social networking sites, and see who you’re allowing to see your personal contact details. (AllFacebook has a great set of links for managing your Facebook privacy). When you find personal information you’re okay with sharing, make sure it’s accurate. I don’t know how times I’ve seen a divorced-for-ages friend listed as “married” on Myspace. Don’t assume that strangers or online dates will get that the info is old – they probably won’t. It’s worth the effort to update the info yourself, even if it’s a site you rarely use anymore. If you use the site so little that you can’t be bothered to update it, shut the account down.

When you know what the internet is saying about you, you can clean it up, control your search results, and attempt to remove “bad” information about you. But it’s a “The More You Know” situation, so get out there and start googling!

 

The post What Does Google Tell People About You? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Ten years ago, if you’d asked someone whether or not they’d be comfortable with a blind date knowing everything about them before they met, you’d get an answer somewhere between “Ew, that’s creepy” and “That’s just not romantic.” Today, we almost expect our internet crushes to know intimate details about us, even if we’ve never met. No […]

The post What Does Google Tell People About You? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7815) "

Ten years ago, if you’d asked someone whether or not they’d be comfortable with a blind date knowing everything about them before they met, you’d get an answer somewhere between “Ew, that’s creepy” and “That’s just not romantic.”

Today, we almost expect our internet crushes to know intimate details about us, even if we’ve never met. No one thinks twice about telling the internet what they had for breakfast, why their roommates annoy them, or how much that guy in O-Chem makes them think of other, more interesting O’s. It’s easy to overshare on the internet, because there’s always someone sharing way more than you are, and because the stream of information seems so ephemeral and ever-changing.

But if you’re looking for love, especially online, it’s important to know what picture your online profiles paint of you. Why? Because if someone is interested in you, they’re probably going to google you. And if they’re really interested, they might dig a bit deeper than that. You might be pretty sure that you don’t have anything particularly incriminating up on the internet, but, just like your credit report, it’s worth checking out to be sure.

It’s also a PR game. We are making far more information about ourselves available to the public than ever before, and we don’t have high-powered publicists to advise us on how to behave, when to shut up, and how to manage our reputations and public image. Consequently, the information available about you on the internet can be very misleading, and this can happen without you even knowing it. A few years ago, I was horrified to discover that a dear friend had posted an unattractive picture of me in his (well-followed) blog. He thought it was a “quirky” pic that showed my personality, but I hated it… and it was the first result being returned when you did a Google image search for my name!

Do you know what sort of portrait the internet paints of you? If you don’t, here’s how to piece it together:

Google thyself

“Know thyself” is still the best advice for dating, but “Google thyself” is the first commandment of knowing how you appear to others. Google uses an intelligent page-ranking system to organize your information (and, no, you can’t e-mail them and ask them to please take down that keg stand picture from your fraternity days).

Google your own first and last name, surrounded by quotations, and add your location if your name is common (my search phrase looks like this: “Meghan Beresford” New York). You should also do a Google Image Search (in the tabs at the top) and scan the pictures to see if there’s anything surprising or unflattering toward the top of the results.

Next, google your online handles. If you’re on an online dating site, your prospects may google your username, especially if you haven’t given them your last name yet. If your online dating username is also your Yelp! handle, your Twitter login, your blog’s name, and the username you use on other dating sites, your date can easily access tons of information about you. (This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s worth your while to know what they know!)

Finally, google any e-mail addresses you use for site logins, Craigslist ads, or other postings. This search is the least likely to return results, but it’s still worth checking out. It’s basic internet safety to keep track of what personal information is publicly accessible.

Piece together the “facts”

Try to imagine how you’d view yourself if you had only the internet facts to rely on. Do you seem normal and well-rounded, or does one aspect of your personality outshine the others? Is there any information that’s likely to be misinterpreted by someone who doesn’t know you? Is there anything that shows up publicly that surprises you or makes you uncomfortable? (When you scan your search results, make a note of anything you’d like to remove from your public profile. This will help you later, if you choose to take a more active approach to managing what data appears about you online.)

If you share strong opinions in public forums, it’s possible that your posts will show up in your Google results. This is worth knowing, because if 90% of what you’ve shared on the internet is political or religious, your date may see you as much more intense (or worse, one-note) than you actually are. Similarly, there’s nothing wrong with being a member of many dating sites, but if your date can see this info when they google you, they may conclude you’re serious about finding someone (whether or not this is true!).

Read your own Facebook and Twitter status update streams to get a sense for what tone the conversations take. If you tweet or post updates about only your craziest adventures, your crush is going to think you’re a wild child. Conversely, if they can see that you’ve Netflixed movies the last four Friday nights, and if the rest of your tweets are about trips to the bank and what kind of oatmeal you eat, they might get the sense that you’re boring.

People have different sharing habits, especially when it comes to social media, but how you share your thoughts is worth thinking about. If you only tweet when you have something to rant about, your Twitter stream is going to make you seem like a hothead, even if you’re generally even-tempered in real life.

Keep an eye peeled for personal details

Let’s say you recently sold a couch on Craigslist and included your e-mail address, phone number and what street you live on. Until the listing is deleted or expires, anyone who has your e-mail address can get your phone number or figure out roughly where you live! Posting this much info on Craigslist isn’t a bright idea, but I still see it all the time. If you must post personal contact information publicly on the net, consider making an alternate, anonymous e-mail address that you don’t use for any personal communications. If you use your real contact information, make sure you know where it’s posted, and who can see it.

Check your privacy settings on all social networking sites, and see who you’re allowing to see your personal contact details. (AllFacebook has a great set of links for managing your Facebook privacy). When you find personal information you’re okay with sharing, make sure it’s accurate. I don’t know how times I’ve seen a divorced-for-ages friend listed as “married” on Myspace. Don’t assume that strangers or online dates will get that the info is old – they probably won’t. It’s worth the effort to update the info yourself, even if it’s a site you rarely use anymore. If you use the site so little that you can’t be bothered to update it, shut the account down.

When you know what the internet is saying about you, you can clean it up, control your search results, and attempt to remove “bad” information about you. But it’s a “The More You Know” situation, so get out there and start googling!

 

The post What Does Google Tell People About You? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1547121540) } [7]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(33) "8 Conversation Starters For Dates" ["link"]=> string(72) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/08/8-conversation-starters-for-dates/" ["comments"]=> string(80) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/08/8-conversation-starters-for-dates/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 08 Jan 2019 14:03:40 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(80) "Dating AdviceadvicechatconversationDating Etiquettehow torelationshipstalktop 10" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1357" ["description"]=> string(583) "

Everyone can agree that the worst thing about first dates is the awkward silence that can come with getting to know someone new. While some people always have something to say to fill those quiet moments, most of us could use some guidance. Here are some fool-proof conversation starters that will get her talking – […]

The post 8 Conversation Starters For Dates appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5575) "

Everyone can agree that the worst thing about first dates is the awkward silence that can come with getting to know someone new. While some people always have something to say to fill those quiet moments, most of us could use some guidance. Here are some fool-proof conversation starters that will get her talking – and help you get to know her better.

Conversation starters for dates #1

What’s your favorite film/book character?

This question gives you a great idea of what interests she has. For example, if she answers “Superwoman”, you know that chances are she’s into comics; but if she relates more to Carrie from Sex and the City, it’s fashion she loves. And perhaps sex. And the city.

Follow ups:
Any other preference questions will help you get to know her better: favorite time of day, favorite meal, favorite hang-out spot, etc.

Conversation starters for dates #2

How do you spend your Sundays?

One great way to get to know her is by finding out what she likes to do. If her idea of a good time is having a romantic picnic in the park and you love taking in a baseball game every Sunday, you’ll instantly know if there might be some trouble down the road.

Follow ups:
Describe your typical day.
What are your favorite hobbies?
What kind of food do you love?

Conversation starters for dates #3

What’s your dream city?

The answer to this can be very telling. If you both plan to travel around a lot, you may have more in common than you know. If she loves the city you both live in, chances are she’s here to stay. But if she reminisces about her hometown or dreams of moving to Paris, you know she’s got bigger plans ahead.

Follow ups:
Where did you grow up?
Where do you plan to settle down?

Conversation starters for dates #4

Tell me about your family.

Two topics to avoid on a first date: exes and anything too controversial, like politics. One topic that is very important: family. Knowing about a girl’s relationship with her family gives you an idea of what kinds of values she has, what sorts of relationships are important to her and what her history is like.

Follow ups:
Do you have any siblings?
Who are you closest with?

Conversation starters for dates #5

If you could retire tomorrow, what would you do?

This is a good question if you want to know how she would ideally spend her time. If she says she would love to open up a women’s shelter, you know she’s got a big heart. But if her answer is “shop all day”, you could be shelling out some serious dough in the future.

Follow ups:
Why is that important to you?
Where would you retire?

Conversation starters for dates #6

What was your best job ever?

The answer to this question gives you an idea of what her career life is like. If her only recollection results in “babysitting”, she may not be the most driven person. But if she loved her summer working as an English teacher in Spain, you know she’s adventurous and hard working.

Follow ups:
Would you do it again?
What was the best part?
What’s your career goal?

Conversation starters for dates #7

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Quirky questions like this can bring up funny stories to bond over and give insight into her experiences and her character. If you both have outrageous vacation stories to share a laugh over, you know there’s chemistry there. But if your craziest moment was your prom night and she spent six months hitchhiking around Brazil, you may have less in common than you thought.

Follow ups:
More silly questions or a flirty joke (i.e. “let’s see how long we can go without sleep”)

Conversation starters for dates #8

If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

This question may seem similar to number 3, but it will bring out different answers. If you both love travel and have a fascination with Australia, there may be a future there. But if she prefers to stay put and you’re into discovering new countries and cultures, this relationship won’t likely be long-term.

Follow ups:
What’s your ideal vacation?
Where have you travelled?
What’s your favorite country?

More conversation starters for dates

It’s always important to find common interests and activities if you aim to build a relationship in the future. These questions are designed to help you impress her with your conversation skills and figure out if she’s your type of lady.

So don’t be scared to ask away – and remember – a well-flowing conversation will lead to many more dates in the future.

The post 8 Conversation Starters For Dates appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Everyone can agree that the worst thing about first dates is the awkward silence that can come with getting to know someone new. While some people always have something to say to fill those quiet moments, most of us could use some guidance. Here are some fool-proof conversation starters that will get her talking – […]

The post 8 Conversation Starters For Dates appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5575) "

Everyone can agree that the worst thing about first dates is the awkward silence that can come with getting to know someone new. While some people always have something to say to fill those quiet moments, most of us could use some guidance. Here are some fool-proof conversation starters that will get her talking – and help you get to know her better.

Conversation starters for dates #1

What’s your favorite film/book character?

This question gives you a great idea of what interests she has. For example, if she answers “Superwoman”, you know that chances are she’s into comics; but if she relates more to Carrie from Sex and the City, it’s fashion she loves. And perhaps sex. And the city.

Follow ups:
Any other preference questions will help you get to know her better: favorite time of day, favorite meal, favorite hang-out spot, etc.

Conversation starters for dates #2

How do you spend your Sundays?

One great way to get to know her is by finding out what she likes to do. If her idea of a good time is having a romantic picnic in the park and you love taking in a baseball game every Sunday, you’ll instantly know if there might be some trouble down the road.

Follow ups:
Describe your typical day.
What are your favorite hobbies?
What kind of food do you love?

Conversation starters for dates #3

What’s your dream city?

The answer to this can be very telling. If you both plan to travel around a lot, you may have more in common than you know. If she loves the city you both live in, chances are she’s here to stay. But if she reminisces about her hometown or dreams of moving to Paris, you know she’s got bigger plans ahead.

Follow ups:
Where did you grow up?
Where do you plan to settle down?

Conversation starters for dates #4

Tell me about your family.

Two topics to avoid on a first date: exes and anything too controversial, like politics. One topic that is very important: family. Knowing about a girl’s relationship with her family gives you an idea of what kinds of values she has, what sorts of relationships are important to her and what her history is like.

Follow ups:
Do you have any siblings?
Who are you closest with?

Conversation starters for dates #5

If you could retire tomorrow, what would you do?

This is a good question if you want to know how she would ideally spend her time. If she says she would love to open up a women’s shelter, you know she’s got a big heart. But if her answer is “shop all day”, you could be shelling out some serious dough in the future.

Follow ups:
Why is that important to you?
Where would you retire?

Conversation starters for dates #6

What was your best job ever?

The answer to this question gives you an idea of what her career life is like. If her only recollection results in “babysitting”, she may not be the most driven person. But if she loved her summer working as an English teacher in Spain, you know she’s adventurous and hard working.

Follow ups:
Would you do it again?
What was the best part?
What’s your career goal?

Conversation starters for dates #7

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Quirky questions like this can bring up funny stories to bond over and give insight into her experiences and her character. If you both have outrageous vacation stories to share a laugh over, you know there’s chemistry there. But if your craziest moment was your prom night and she spent six months hitchhiking around Brazil, you may have less in common than you thought.

Follow ups:
More silly questions or a flirty joke (i.e. “let’s see how long we can go without sleep”)

Conversation starters for dates #8

If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

This question may seem similar to number 3, but it will bring out different answers. If you both love travel and have a fascination with Australia, there may be a future there. But if she prefers to stay put and you’re into discovering new countries and cultures, this relationship won’t likely be long-term.

Follow ups:
What’s your ideal vacation?
Where have you travelled?
What’s your favorite country?

More conversation starters for dates

It’s always important to find common interests and activities if you aim to build a relationship in the future. These questions are designed to help you impress her with your conversation skills and figure out if she’s your type of lady.

So don’t be scared to ask away – and remember – a well-flowing conversation will lead to many more dates in the future.

The post 8 Conversation Starters For Dates appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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When guys date really nice girls, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that boredom quickly sets in and they need to find a way out. The problem is that the idea of dumping them raises all kinds of guilt. And no one wants to feel guilty about dumping a girl. But it is […]

The post How Men Dump Nice Girls appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5277) "

When guys date really nice girls, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that boredom quickly sets in and they need to find a way out. The problem is that the idea of dumping them raises all kinds of guilt.

And no one wants to feel guilty about dumping a girl. But it is a necessary evil. After all, life is too short to spend it with someone you don’t want to be with.

So if you’re a nice girl and wondered whatever happened to James – why he just seemed to disappear from your life, you’ll probably find the answer within these pages.

Who is the nice girl?

First off, who is this “nice girl”? Well, she’s sweet and innocent, and her idea of rebelling is jaywalking. She’s very vanilla, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but there’s no doubt that everyone likes a little rocky road every once in a while.

Of course, there are many guys who’ve dated rats in the past and want nothing more than a good, predictable, reliable girl to spend his time with, but for many men in their 20s and even 30s, they’d prefer to spend their time being challenged.

Why men dump nice girls

It’s funny how life works sometimes. When it comes to a nice girl, we always know where she is, we know she’s reliable, and we know that she would never betray us. You’d think that this was the ideal woman.

But because this nice girl comes with guarantees, so to speak, we find ourselves wanting more. While safety is appreciated, and it’s what we think we want, when men find themselves faced with a woman who will be good to and for him, he tends to run in the other direction.

How men dump nice girls

How men dump nice girls

It’s quite possible that after we walk away from the nice girl, we spend a lot of time reminiscing about how great she was… especially when we begin dating a high-maintenance bitch.

Nevertheless, we do ultimately walk away. But how? How do we do it without feeling tons of guilt? It’s hard, but here’s how we manage.

How men dump nice girls #1

Stop calling

If we were calling about once a day, that would stop fast. And I don’t mean that we’d lessen the phone calls until they reached the once a week status; we would rip that phone calling task off like a band-aid – one shot!

It’s not the nicest or classiest way of going about it, but the thing is that if we don’t hear her crying or getting upset, it’s like it never happened.

How men dump nice girls #2

Avoid her calls

If we haven’t been dating her for too long, guys will tend to do what they do best – avoid her phone calls. We figure that if we avoid them long enough, they will simply go away.

Then, if we run into her, it’s as easy as saying that we were out of town for so long that by the time we returned, we thought it awkward to call.

How men dump nice girls #3

Act like a prick

We figure that if we could be mean and rude enough, it would prompt her to dump us, so that we wouldn’t have to look like the bad guy. So every time we meet her, we come out with guns blazing ready to shoot her down at every chance.

Ultimately she becomes so upset with the way we’re treating her that she yells at us and walks away, leaving us home free and happy to be single again.

How men dump nice girls #4

Write her a letter

Although it’s rare that we write letters in general, we would probably opt to write a letter or send her an email telling her that the relationship is over so that we wouldn’t have to see any tears or get asked the inevitable question: Why?

We know that it’s cowardly to dump a woman via the written word, but sometimes being a coward is better than having to deal with the venom that is a woman’s tears.

How men dump nice girls #5

The “Chemistry” card

Sometimes there’s no other way to go about leaving her than to confront the situation in a very public place and tell her that we’re just not feeling like we’re the one for her.

At no point do we make it seem as though we don’t want the relationship; rather, we make it seem as though we feel that she doesn’t want us and, for that reason, we can’t continue with this relationship.

Are you a nice girl?

Have you experienced any of these firsthand? If so, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably the “nice girl.” There’s nothing wrong with being the nice girl, per se, but if you want a man to want you for good, you’re going to have to develop a little bit of bitch.

 

The post How Men Dump Nice Girls appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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When guys date really nice girls, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that boredom quickly sets in and they need to find a way out. The problem is that the idea of dumping them raises all kinds of guilt. And no one wants to feel guilty about dumping a girl. But it is […]

The post How Men Dump Nice Girls appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5277) "

When guys date really nice girls, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that boredom quickly sets in and they need to find a way out. The problem is that the idea of dumping them raises all kinds of guilt.

And no one wants to feel guilty about dumping a girl. But it is a necessary evil. After all, life is too short to spend it with someone you don’t want to be with.

So if you’re a nice girl and wondered whatever happened to James – why he just seemed to disappear from your life, you’ll probably find the answer within these pages.

Who is the nice girl?

First off, who is this “nice girl”? Well, she’s sweet and innocent, and her idea of rebelling is jaywalking. She’s very vanilla, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but there’s no doubt that everyone likes a little rocky road every once in a while.

Of course, there are many guys who’ve dated rats in the past and want nothing more than a good, predictable, reliable girl to spend his time with, but for many men in their 20s and even 30s, they’d prefer to spend their time being challenged.

Why men dump nice girls

It’s funny how life works sometimes. When it comes to a nice girl, we always know where she is, we know she’s reliable, and we know that she would never betray us. You’d think that this was the ideal woman.

But because this nice girl comes with guarantees, so to speak, we find ourselves wanting more. While safety is appreciated, and it’s what we think we want, when men find themselves faced with a woman who will be good to and for him, he tends to run in the other direction.

How men dump nice girls

How men dump nice girls

It’s quite possible that after we walk away from the nice girl, we spend a lot of time reminiscing about how great she was… especially when we begin dating a high-maintenance bitch.

Nevertheless, we do ultimately walk away. But how? How do we do it without feeling tons of guilt? It’s hard, but here’s how we manage.

How men dump nice girls #1

Stop calling

If we were calling about once a day, that would stop fast. And I don’t mean that we’d lessen the phone calls until they reached the once a week status; we would rip that phone calling task off like a band-aid – one shot!

It’s not the nicest or classiest way of going about it, but the thing is that if we don’t hear her crying or getting upset, it’s like it never happened.

How men dump nice girls #2

Avoid her calls

If we haven’t been dating her for too long, guys will tend to do what they do best – avoid her phone calls. We figure that if we avoid them long enough, they will simply go away.

Then, if we run into her, it’s as easy as saying that we were out of town for so long that by the time we returned, we thought it awkward to call.

How men dump nice girls #3

Act like a prick

We figure that if we could be mean and rude enough, it would prompt her to dump us, so that we wouldn’t have to look like the bad guy. So every time we meet her, we come out with guns blazing ready to shoot her down at every chance.

Ultimately she becomes so upset with the way we’re treating her that she yells at us and walks away, leaving us home free and happy to be single again.

How men dump nice girls #4

Write her a letter

Although it’s rare that we write letters in general, we would probably opt to write a letter or send her an email telling her that the relationship is over so that we wouldn’t have to see any tears or get asked the inevitable question: Why?

We know that it’s cowardly to dump a woman via the written word, but sometimes being a coward is better than having to deal with the venom that is a woman’s tears.

How men dump nice girls #5

The “Chemistry” card

Sometimes there’s no other way to go about leaving her than to confront the situation in a very public place and tell her that we’re just not feeling like we’re the one for her.

At no point do we make it seem as though we don’t want the relationship; rather, we make it seem as though we feel that she doesn’t want us and, for that reason, we can’t continue with this relationship.

Are you a nice girl?

Have you experienced any of these firsthand? If so, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably the “nice girl.” There’s nothing wrong with being the nice girl, per se, but if you want a man to want you for good, you’re going to have to develop a little bit of bitch.

 

The post How Men Dump Nice Girls appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1546876609) } [9]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(50) "The 3 Reasons You Should Never Buy a Woman a Drink" ["link"]=> string(89) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/04/the-3-reasons-you-should-never-buy-a-woman-a-drink/" ["comments"]=> string(97) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/01/04/the-3-reasons-you-should-never-buy-a-woman-a-drink/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 04 Jan 2019 12:24:30 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(75) "Dating AdviceadvicebardatingDating Etiquettedrinkingreason whyrelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1346" ["description"]=> string(621) "

“Never buy a woman a drink” is one of those “pick up artist” mantras you hear all the time, yet no one ever explains why you should never buy her a drink. Or dinner on a first date, for that matter. I’ve been asked over and over by guys (and gotten into heated debates with women), whether […]

The post The 3 Reasons You Should Never Buy a Woman a Drink appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4063) "

“Never buy a woman a drink” is one of those “pick up artist” mantras you hear all the time, yet no one ever explains why you should never buy her a drink. Or dinner on a first date, for that matter.

I’ve been asked over and over by guys (and gotten into heated debates with women), whether or not this is good advice to follow. And my answer is always the same: Yes it is. You really should never buy a woman a drink or dinner if you are trying to pick her up. Why? Because it has a very different effect from the one you are trying to achieve. And I’ll explain why:

But first, understand that this is not a power thing, or teach-her-a-lesson thing. If that’s your mind set when you go out to meet women, put on your white-framed sunglasses, and take your over-bronzered, Ed Hardy-wearing ass home. This isn’t for you.

Reason #1: It instantly turns you into “Guy Hitting on Her.”

And that is going to raise her defensive shields. Fast. Women get hit on a lot. And they have ingrained, knee-jerk reactions to come ons from guys. None of which are good. So you’re starting out in a hole you’ll need to dig out of. And unless you’re really handy with a verbal shovel, your chances for success drop significantly.

Reason #2: It makes you just like every other guy.

Every other schlub in the bar with a debit card and no skills has bought her a drink tonight. Yet she’s still alone. A little buzzed. But alone.

Why is that? Because simply buying her a drink won’t get any of them past a conversation that lasts longer than it takes for her to finish her Cosmotini. At which point, she’ll politely thank them for the drink, then turn back to her friends.

See, building on Reason #1, she’s craving something different. Something fun and unique. And “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” ain’t even close. And will slam the doors shut to the promised land faster than a Lindsay Lohan rehab stint.

Reason #3: It lowers your value.

This is probably the most important reason. While most guys will typically date anything with a pulse as long as she’s willing and (relatively) clean, women have a different standard, and they tend to desire men who have a higher value than they do. (Hence the reason aging rock stars and fat, bald CEOs always score hotter girls than you.)

Once you offer her a drink, you’re showing her that your value is so much lower than hers, that you have to buy her something in exchange for conversation.

Ever hear from a stripper that they never date customers? Trust me, there’s no rule in the club that says that. Those girls will date anyone (and pretty much everyone), they damn well please. The real reason they won’t date customers, is because the minute you give them money in exchange for a dance, you go from being the hot guy she wants to take home and do naughty things to, to just another low-value “customer.” Any attraction instantly vanishes.

It’s the same with women in a club. Only instead of being on the pole, they’re at the bar.

Finally, here’s the caveat on the “never” in Never Buy a Woman a Drink: Never doesn’t mean never. Once you’ve gotten to know her, and been out a time or two, it’s perfectly ok to buy her a drink… or dinner. Just don’t use that as your initial approach.

The post The 3 Reasons You Should Never Buy a Woman a Drink appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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“Never buy a woman a drink” is one of those “pick up artist” mantras you hear all the time, yet no one ever explains why you should never buy her a drink. Or dinner on a first date, for that matter. I’ve been asked over and over by guys (and gotten into heated debates with women), whether […]

The post The 3 Reasons You Should Never Buy a Woman a Drink appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4063) "

“Never buy a woman a drink” is one of those “pick up artist” mantras you hear all the time, yet no one ever explains why you should never buy her a drink. Or dinner on a first date, for that matter.

I’ve been asked over and over by guys (and gotten into heated debates with women), whether or not this is good advice to follow. And my answer is always the same: Yes it is. You really should never buy a woman a drink or dinner if you are trying to pick her up. Why? Because it has a very different effect from the one you are trying to achieve. And I’ll explain why:

But first, understand that this is not a power thing, or teach-her-a-lesson thing. If that’s your mind set when you go out to meet women, put on your white-framed sunglasses, and take your over-bronzered, Ed Hardy-wearing ass home. This isn’t for you.

Reason #1: It instantly turns you into “Guy Hitting on Her.”

And that is going to raise her defensive shields. Fast. Women get hit on a lot. And they have ingrained, knee-jerk reactions to come ons from guys. None of which are good. So you’re starting out in a hole you’ll need to dig out of. And unless you’re really handy with a verbal shovel, your chances for success drop significantly.

Reason #2: It makes you just like every other guy.

Every other schlub in the bar with a debit card and no skills has bought her a drink tonight. Yet she’s still alone. A little buzzed. But alone.

Why is that? Because simply buying her a drink won’t get any of them past a conversation that lasts longer than it takes for her to finish her Cosmotini. At which point, she’ll politely thank them for the drink, then turn back to her friends.

See, building on Reason #1, she’s craving something different. Something fun and unique. And “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” ain’t even close. And will slam the doors shut to the promised land faster than a Lindsay Lohan rehab stint.

Reason #3: It lowers your value.

This is probably the most important reason. While most guys will typically date anything with a pulse as long as she’s willing and (relatively) clean, women have a different standard, and they tend to desire men who have a higher value than they do. (Hence the reason aging rock stars and fat, bald CEOs always score hotter girls than you.)

Once you offer her a drink, you’re showing her that your value is so much lower than hers, that you have to buy her something in exchange for conversation.

Ever hear from a stripper that they never date customers? Trust me, there’s no rule in the club that says that. Those girls will date anyone (and pretty much everyone), they damn well please. The real reason they won’t date customers, is because the minute you give them money in exchange for a dance, you go from being the hot guy she wants to take home and do naughty things to, to just another low-value “customer.” Any attraction instantly vanishes.

It’s the same with women in a club. Only instead of being on the pole, they’re at the bar.

Finally, here’s the caveat on the “never” in Never Buy a Woman a Drink: Never doesn’t mean never. Once you’ve gotten to know her, and been out a time or two, it’s perfectly ok to buy her a drink… or dinner. Just don’t use that as your initial approach.

The post The 3 Reasons You Should Never Buy a Woman a Drink appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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